Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Rambling Thoughts

So life has been very hectic the last 7 weeks.. Everything that went on in Jan with my Brother passing plus packing my sisters house up, getting her moved into her new place, unpacking her stuff, organizing her house, decorating her house, picking kids up from school, back to my sisters in between my lunches and after long hours of work.. But finally I think she is ALL settled for now anyhow... Its been quit the journey the last 2 months... Garr and I have been in a house for almost a year now, but sad news is he got laid off so not much we can do on staying in this home.. We pay to much for me to do this on my own.. So now here we go packing AGAIN and moving our life right next door to my sister, which I am greatful for. We already have stayed with her at her new place because she is still not ready to be alone, which I am the same way so I have been fine with staying with her. So being right next to her will be a true blessing for her and I. Garrett has been with her 24-7 since he is not working and he finally feels like he is where he belongs with my sister! He is so grateful to be able to spend countless hours helping my sister hang pictures or fix a sink, just being in my sisters presence means the world to him!! He loves stepping in and being a man figure in the kids lives!!! Having something so Tramatic happen to us and loosing someone so close to us has been a huge challenge.. Not just because he is gone but also not having answers?? We both keep wondering What If?? Or why? We just want answers,which we will never get but its hard to let go of our last moments with Joe.. After seeing Joe that night, it keeps replaying in my head.. It hurts me,scares me & most of I fear being alone. I know Joe would never hurt me but Im scared.. Scared to have something happen to me that is out of the ordinary.. Garretts Grandpa, Uncles and Dad gave me a blessing on superbowl sunday & I was so emotional.. but as they finished up I finally had a sense of peace.. It was a really emotional but great feeling.. So back on this moving subject.. Im so not looking forward to moving from a 4 bedroom home to a 3 bedroom.. We have bought so much stuff for our kids rooms that now we have to down size and get rid of stuff.. Thank Goodness for Good Ol KSL!!! We put everything on there and it always works out great!!! Any how thats enough of me rambling on today.. Be back soon!!!

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