Not a good feeling...

Well today I woke up in somewhat of a disappointed mood.. I am not onery or grouchy, just very unsatisfied with life right now... I am letting some people bring the worst out in me & its not a good feeling. I am not a mean, bad, hateful or hurtful person.. I think what I have been threw the last month is what has caused me to loose it and be that kind of person. Its pretty dang sad that a Man has got to be the reason a Women gets so Catty & Emotional... Girls always seem to take the wrong approach and blaim the 'OTHER' girl in all reality the girl should never take all the blaim or suffer from something so un-called for.. So just thought I as a grown women needed to vent and apologize to a very specific person.. Even though this person may never read this or know how sorry I am I think I have been so heart broken for what was said to this person and that this person needs to know that she is a  very amazing mother & person in general & that I think she is a very strong person..

I felt this is something that needed to be done in order for me to forgive myself.. I truley hope somehow this person finds a way to read this just so they know that what was said came from hurt & anger.. So again im very sorry & hope you know that....

..pErFeCt DeScRiPtIoN oF mY gUy..

Addictions.. We all have them.. Here is 10 of mine!!!!

#1. My Princess, everything about this sweet little girl makes each moment so heart throbing!!

#2. Pink Rockstars, I don't think 1 days has gone by in 2 mnths that I have not had my meal in a can.. I literally drink 2 or 3  a day & still could drink several more. The guys at work think I am crazy. Guess its my new Diet Menu.. Rockstar-Rockstar & Rockstar...

#3. Cleaning, I absolutly love when I have a clean house.. And not just straightened up or things put away.. I mean mop out, dishwasher running (even if I only have 6 dishes), laundry tumblein.. Any and all house work is complete each & everyday before its time to even think of sitting on the counch or jumpin in to bed... Drives my honey nuts!!!!

#4. Decorating, I can never or will never get enough decorating done in my lifetime. Even if it takes me a whole day to just decorate 1 room, that's ok I love it....

#5. Blogging, Even though I dont do it as quite often as I used to I still love everything about it, days when I am frustrated or so getty about something I can turn to my blog and express every emotion I am feeling without affending someone ;).....

#6. Garrett Koyle Hatfield, Sounds a little chezzy but its a major addiction. I love just being able to come home eachday & know that he is waiting for me to eat dinner or go for a bike ride or just sitting on the sofa BS'ing about life..  I love that each & every morning he will not walk out the door without giving me 3 kisses a hug and A I LOVE YOU BABYGIRL and have a great day.. I love that more than anything!!! Very addictive....

#7. Dill Pickle Sunflower Seeds, My sweetie & I could literally eat a bag a night between the 2 of us.They are a-a-amazing :)...

#8. Hand Sanitizer, Weird I know but I guess because I have done customer service my whole working life I see all the nastys that are floatin around.. Yuckkk just talking about it made me double shot another squirt of it!!

#9. Jewelery, Not just 1 kind of jewelery.. All kinds. Earings, Necklaces, Rings, Bracelts, Watches... I can not leave the house until every part of me is covered with some kind of Body Decor.. I have 4 Huge decorative totes that are labeled Earings/Rings, Bracelts/Watches, Necklaces & Headbands.. And believe me them babies are full to the rim!!! LOL nothing like accesorizing yourself..

#10. Taking Pictures, nothing in this world will ever compare to capturing the moment.. Nothing....

Life has been Crazy...

Well its been a long while since I have made it one here, So many things happening in life some in which were not easy. Finally we got all moved into the new house.. Finally.. but many huge bumps in the road.. We have struggled for a while getting along I think just from stress from the move, money, just a little of everything..  Things just have not been easy on this side of the mountain..  With all this going on I have came to the conclusion that No Matter how upset and frustrated you are never say something you don't mean. Garrett has never believed me that I am over my previous Marriage, well he also don't understand that I have an amazing Little Girl that came from that So things have got to stay civil and I think it bothers him that Josh & I get along so well.. So most of our fights come from that situation. So this last week things went really bad, bad enough that I literally could not eat, sleep, talk, smile & or all of everything I do on a day to day bases.. Garr made one of the biggest mistakes of his life and it seems as if that dumb little mistake has pulled us closer together than ever. Never have I had to hear from him how embarrassed, humiliated, heart broken, sickened, saddened & mostly how sorry he is... Some things hurt more than anyone could ever imagine and I have learned that. Something so horrible has never happened to me before and its heart wrenching to have to deal with..  I am just proud that he was able to be honest about every little detail no matter if it tore me into pieces and made me cry harder than I ever have he was right beside me poring his heart and tears out as well. I truly believe he is hurting just as bad as me.. So we are both doing the best we can to push on and build our relationship stronger than ever.. Kinda saddened by our Wedding day would have been tmrw, Aug 13.. That was the day we choose but being so wrapped up in getting our new home and all the other things life has thrown our way.. So now Garrett is so head strong that he wants to get marry on 11/11/11. He says he would do it tomorrow if I would agree but I think we have plenty of time to get married.. So the last few days have been really interesting, Grace has been at her dad's so Garr and I have had lots of time together, It has been amazing.. We have not let go of each other!!!  Wed I got home from work and he has been off all week cause he has been passing kidney stones all week and he had done all the yard work cooked me dinner and had a candle light bath waiting for us to just relax.. Then Last night we went tanning as usual then drove up to the top of Middle canyon and watched the sunset and talked about life and the important things that matter.. It was so great to spend that time together. He told me "I feel like I have never been so in Love with you, I guess it took making a huge mistake to realize how important and how perfect you are and that I am everything he wants for the rest of his life"...Even tho there is that huge mistake in there I have started looking past that and understanding that I truly am his world and everything will work out if it is meant to be... Sorry to ramble on and on about my life story but that's what a Damn Blog is for...... Aughhhhhhhh